his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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