They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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