oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
