one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
