Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
