Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
