not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
