she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
