Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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