ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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