No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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