Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
