Sponge bath it is.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?