Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize