The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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