She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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