thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
