Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
