do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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