their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
