I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
