Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
