She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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