that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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