He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
