So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Randomize
