you have to choose: penises or morals?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
