He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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