I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
