You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
