It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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