ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
