Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
