I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
this is an emotional support booty call
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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