two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
