I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
