i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
