I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
