I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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