yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
