I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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