I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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