Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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