apparently the secret to your success is patron
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize