im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
