Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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