Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
