I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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