She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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