He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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