Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
