So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize