I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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