explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
