did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
