So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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