I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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