I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
